Done with this blog...
Go to my Xanga or Myspace

Okay people... I just got some music studio software and I've made some songs, but I need your help.  I can't decide on a musician name.  Here's some I've thought of...(bold means I like it more)...
Satan's Redneck Friend (my fav)
Singularis Malefactor (unique evil)
Vampire Cowboy
Muzik-Nonstop
VMD
Demonoid Phenomenon
LMDR (live mate die repeat)
Philthe [fil-thee]  (combination of philosophy and theology)
(ICNH) or (Insert Cool Name Here)
Superbeast
Kid Hellbilly
Prinzuvbaddaz
Bloodthroat

So, there's the ones I've thought of... Tell me which you like best, or make another suggestion...

Vlad

-It's killing me...ever so slowly...So you can stop and watch my trainwreck of a life-

I hate this.  I only get really depressed when I'm without Kayla.  It's probably because she distracts me... Takes over my thoughts... Makes me forget reality, for a little while at least...

I wonder whether I should even continue our relationship.  I know that I'm only going to hurt her.  She has such high hopes for me...  I know I'll let her down.  She always says it will get better.  Maybe it will.  But it'll just get worse again...

I don't know why I even bother to put this shit on here... It could be to make me feel better, but it really doesn't.  And I'm not just looking for pitty.  I'm sure that there aren't more that one or two people that even read this.  And I don't know why anyone would.  Me whining and complaining and going on and on about how my life sucks and how pointless everything is can't be very interesting.  I guess I just do it because I have nothing else to do...So why not continue?

Nothing interests me anymore.  Music is full of meningless lyrics and nerds plucking away on guitars and banging on drums.  Movies are all the same, no matter what genre.  Video games are just pointless virtual visions of reality that make total losers feel like they're actually talented.  Books are boring wastes of trees.  And the internet is so full of lies, ads, and pointless garbage, that I only use it to communicate with the few "friends" that I have, most of whom I've never met in person or are never online, and they probably dred seing my screen name on MSN because they know I'm just going to piss and moan about how depressing everything is.

Whatever.... If nobody comments on my blogdrive or Xanga within a few days, I'm getting rid of them.

Vampire Cowboy(who gives a shit)

   Well, the rest of my family went to go get my dad's new motorcycle.  We have 2 now.  Both are Kawasakis... A 440 and a 750 I believe. (like anyone cares).  Anyway, everything's been going alright... Nothing really interesting.  They keep changing my meds around.  The weather here's really fucked up.  A few weeks ago it was above 60, and then we got like 6 inches of snow, and now it's getting warm again.  Wisconsin is retarded... I'm either moving to California or Norway when I'm older... (After I'm out of the Army, of course)  Yeah, I know.  Two opposite climates.
Sooo...what else...  I weigh almost 40 pounds more than I did when I was in school, so that's kinda depressing.... But I think I'll slim down this summer.
Hmm.... my life really isn't that interesting... Kayla keeps me occupied, so I'm not just hiding in my room and listening to music.  So, yeah, I'm just sitting here researching for a report and adding vids to my Youtube playlists....
Well, off to find some Lordi and Danzig vids...

Vampire Cowboy

"Even in death there is no equality.  Some people make better looking corpses than others"

The forest, Nowhere
(Inspired by the song Dunkelheit)

The sky,
So dark,
It's blinding.

The silence
Noiselessness,
It's deafening.

The air,
So still,
One move may shatter it.

The forest is motionless,
As if holding its breath.

It is so cold,
It burns.

Snow lightly falls,
Silently.

A lone statue sits among stones and rubble,
eyes gazing upon this site.

I envy him,
for he may sit and see this beautiful scene,
Eternally.

  Court went about as well as it could...  I'm basically on probation for a year.  Here's what my punishment is, basically.

30 hours of community service,  counceling,  no possesion of a firearm(no hunting), take all perscriptions, no movies worse than PG 13, no music with "Parental Advisory", continueing my education, obeying all rules set by parents, and a written apology to Officer Zeblewski(which I was planning, anyway)

And if I do all that for a year, my charges basically dissapear, unless I commit a crime again.  I'm kinda depressed about the music and movies thing.  I don't know if that pertains to video games, but it probably does.  It also sucks that I'm going to be watched pretty much all the time now.  Oh well.  I have to pay the consequences.

Well, I'm going to go.  Ttyl all.

VLAD

I'm just randomly typing shit so try not to get lost...

I wish I could stop the constant worry, the racing thoughts about the past and now what'll happen, and how it's all my fault that we're losing all our money, and how my dad is falling apart and I don't know why, but him and mom still manage to fight, and my sis is completely left out, has no idea what's going on, is ignored, so she acts like a little bitch just to get attention.  But this wasn't my intention, to fuck everyone's lives up, I'd rather be locked up, taken in handcuffs.  I really wish I'd stop thinking, it only worsens things.  Even more, I wish Kayla would wise up and dump me, with all the shit I put her through.  I need some other help, to take the weight off her shoulders, but it'd all put my parents further in debt, and I can't do that.  I can't tell my dad that I think he should give up on getting me back in school and get my mind right before we worry about that...
If you think I should tell my dad all of this, tell me.

VLAD

Well, I'm expelled untill next school year.  I can still do school work though.  I still have to go to court and shit for criminal charges I think...  If enough ppl ask what all happened I'll post it.  Otherwise, I'll e-mail you if you wanna know.

VLAD

Well, for those of you who don't know, I was locked up about a week ago for an attempted suicide, and was released last Wednesday. (if you really want to know more details, e-mail me).  Anyway, I'm suspended until Dec. first, and may still be expelled, so, yeah......life kinda sucks.......

But, it's getting better........well, I can't think of much else to write, so, g'night!

VLAD